Smitten By the Words

Do Writers "Break a leg"?

2011-11-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

I'm back. The last two years have seen complete upheaval and deep tragedy. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to write again, after all of the changes, which included a whole lot of therapy and personal growth. My previous life sometimes feels like someone else's. If the price of this was my writing, so be it.

I've recently picked up the novel again and returned to revisions. I'm discovering my voice is clearer, the things that need fixing more apparent. I'm letting go of the "clever" turns of phrase that I was inappropriately attached to, that needed to go. The characters are stronger, the pacing is more grab you by the collar and not let go.

So, at the urging of my Dear SO, I am about to leave for 4 days of uninterrupted writing alone in a cabin. I am so excited. I will post the revised first chapter here when I return. I hope you like it. If I were an actor, about now I'd be telling myself to "Break a leg!"

Going to pack...

Life Changes

2009-08-18T21:45:00.002-05:00

At the end of June I found out that I won the Texas Writers' League Manuscript Contest for the Historical Fiction category. I met the agent who judged the category and selected Gwendolyn's Sword, and she's lovely. This is perhaps my best opportunity (and also my last) to see my novel published. It's been almost 2 months since the announcement of the winners, and I warned the agent that it could took me 6 - 8 months to finish revisions. She was utterly unfazed; smiled sweetly and told me to take my time. I'm finding out now that the revisions period typically takes much longer than the composition of the first draft. Learning this helps me to keep perspective.

There have been very significant life changes in the last two months. I have barely touched the manuscript or had a chance to think more than 2 seconds about the story or the characters. I miss them terribly. I think I'm close to being able to start writing again. Once I start, I don't want to stop until all three books are written. Then I'll look around to my notes and see what I'll write next.

It's like looking forward to a meal that I know I'm going to enjoy preparing as much as I'll enjoy eating. My mouth is actually watering thinking about immersing myself back into the story and the writing. Soon.

Taking It to the Next Level

2009-05-23T20:41:00.003-05:00

It's weird. I've had two things happen in the last few days that are both encouraging and illustrative of how far I still have to go for GWENDOLYN'S SWORD to see the light of day.

I submitted the first 10 pages to the Texas Writers' League's annual Manuscript Contest. I submitted in 3 categories, and I've heard back from 2 so far and I'm a finalist in both. Yeah! That's encouraging. And just today I heard back from a professional editor who does reviews of just the first couple of chapters to offer critique on how well you've set up quest-motivation-conflict and just the general flow of those crucial opening pages, and she gave me GREAT feedback.

I've been feeling like I'm polishing, polishing, polishing, but not really getting to the guts of what needs to be fixed in the manuscript. And I've been sort of thrashing around trying to get a hold on what it is. I've figured out some of it on my own, getting rid of the reams of exposition at the outset, but now I'm realizing that's just the beginning. It's not just about weeding. It's about picking up the pace, sweeping the reader off their feet in the first few pages and never setting them down again until they're ready to jump up and cheer when Gwendolyn finally triumphs at the end. I get it now. I've had it in my head that I needed to focus on the "writing": have a clear voice, write readable sentences, don't smother the dialogue. Now I'm realizing from my success with the contest and the editorial feedback that I've got the "writing" part of it pretty well in hand; it's the STORYTELLING that I need to work on. I'm writing an action adventure with a little paranormal thriller thrown in set in medieval england. This is not the time to wax prosaic about manor life and court politics. This is "Lethal Weapon" starring a woman set in 1192. I get it now.

Man, you get all involved with your characters and the setting and your own writing, and you lose your way. They have a story to tell, and it's a heart-thumping page turner, and I need to get myself out of the way of it.

Whoa. I get it now.

Currently Reading: Ash by Mary Gentle

2009-05-05T11:12:00.003-05:00

Ass kicker. I was going to wait until I was finished with this book before I blogged about it, but it's about 1,000 pages, and I'm only at 677. I'm reading slowly, savoring. I'm already getting panicky about what I'll read next, when I'm done with this, that won't taste like table wine after a fine claret, Lone Star after Guinness.

Ass kicker.

Wanting to read stories about tough broads with swords doesn't leave many choices for the library shelf. There are cute broads with swords, romantic broads with swords, religiously devout broads with swords. But a woman mercenary set in medieval times? Delightfully yummy. And it turns out that Ms. Gentle herself is an expert swordsman with a Master's in War Studies.

Mary Gentle's writing is as brave as her heroine. She takes chances, and most of the time, she's spot on. The narrative has made a few turns to some very dark places, maybe a few that I wish I hadn't gone to, having two small babes at home. But the writing is pheonomenal. Ash won the Sidewise Award for Alternate History in 2000, and has received consistent critical praise since then. The themes are complex and the characters beautiful and terrible.

I probably need to read all of Ms. Gentle's works.

Deep Breath

2009-03-27T10:30:00.002-05:00

Taking an axe to GWENDOLYN'S SWORD. Now that Chapter 1 is fixed, I realize that Chapter 2, an extended flashback, needs to go.

Steady, girl.

I was afraid the months and months of revisions and fixes would take the luster off of the characters for me. Turns out I just love them more. Their little idiosyncracies are coming to light.

Three Seconds To Live

2009-03-24T11:35:00.000-05:00

She traces a lazy finger through the bead of blood standing on the table, watching the gummy smear trace a maroon river ending in her distinct fingerprint. There is no need to worry about cleaning up. Not this time.

Voices carry over from down the hall. Arguing.

Her nostrils sting with the bitter scent of gunpowder and singed hair. Comforting in its familiarity. Her hands feel light, empty without a gun in them.

Footsteps, one person approaching, pausing in the doorway.

"Get up." He sounds apologetic. His gun is tucked into the waist of his jeans. He's pretending he isn't going to kill her.

"Fuck you."

He swallows, but it doesn't help. His mouth is dry, his hands are wet with sweat. Everything is backwards.

"Please."

She turns to look at him, eyes narrowing, taking in the details. In a manual for reading body language, his posture would be labeled "SHAME." She wonders if the scratches she left on his back two nights ago have healed. She should have dug in deeper. She sucks her lip in and chews the edge of it between her teeth, a distracting gesture while she collects herself. The body seated next to her, torso and remains of head sprawled across the table, will block a bullet. The slender man standing in the doorway in front of her will not.

"I'm going to kill you." It seems only fair that she should inform him, not that she owes him anything, but because that's who she is. She knows who she is. That's why she can do this work, disappear into the vilest worlds to live and breathe in the muck and bring the worst of them out to the surface, to the light of day, to answer for what they have done.

She didn't count on her partner betraying her. She didn't count on him forgetting who he is, switching sides, choosing to stay in this world.

"I don't think -"

"Hey!" She cuts him off.

A tall, thick man walks to the doorway.

"Why is she still here?" he asks the slender man, ignoring her.

"Congratulations, the business is yours now." she says loudly, sure of herself. "So you've got to choose which of us you can trust. Which of us is going to work for you, and which of us is going to screw you. Are you sure you're picking the right one?"

The larger man is young, flush with victory and bloodlust. Easily confused.

"Fucking kill her now or I'll kill you both."

"Ask him what's in the right front pocket of his jeans."

Her partner - ex-partner - freezes, mouth hanging open, staring at her with wide eyes.

The man looks down, thrusts stubby fingers into the other man's jeans pocket and fishes out an object. It's a key to a locker.

"Now ask him what's in the locker."

She knows what's in the locker: spare equipment and supplies for the job. An emergency cell phone, two hundred dollars, an untraceable 9mm and extra bullets. What is not in the locker is the two hundred thousand that went missing two weeks ago, that made everyone nervous, that made the mutiny possible and led to the dead man beside her. That money was long gone.

But the thick man in front of her doesn't know that. All he knows is he's got two cops in his new organization, and only one of them is going to be useful. The other one is going to be dead.

"You stupid -"

In the time that it takes the thick man to pull his gun, the slender one turns and she dives behind the body beside her, waiting for the popping sounds to stop. Shouts and men running up the stairs. Two bodies slumped in the hallway. She picks up an empty chair, throws it through the window, jumps onto the ledge and teeters for a moment. There is nothing to hold onto that isn't jagged and sharp. She bends forward and propels her body out, landing on the grass one floor below. She tries to roll with the impact, tries to protect her ankles and knees and roll under the bushes. In her boot her foot turns badly as her weight crashes on top of it. The crunching is like gravel under a tire. She grits her teeth to stay quiet and rolls against the wall of the apartment building, cutting her arms on the shards of glass lying around her. She has to get up. The men's bodies block the doorway, giving her three more seconds. Three seconds to live. She puts all of her weight on the good leg, pushes with the bad one. She crosses the lawn, into the street, waves down an approaching car and gets in, grateful for unlocked doors.

"Take me to the hospital."

The Sound of One Heart Breaking

2009-03-13T15:39:00.000-05:00

I heard back from Goddess Literary Agent. She passed. She gave excellent criticism and I'll dive back into the book and make the narrative stronger and more compelling. But not with her. And so, I'm sad today. I know there are plenty of other agents out there, I just sensed a bit of a kindred spirit with this one, plus she comes across as Smart. As. Hell. Love that in a woman.

I'd love to hear other people's stories about losing out with the agent that they had really hoped to work with. Rejection, in the general form letter sense, is one thing, and I'm seeing it all as just data and feedback to pay attention to and consider but not feel badly about. But this one strikes at a deeper level. I'm actually grieving the lost opportunity. Being a Goddess, her feedback was spot on. If she had a fan club, I'd join it.

Kindlicious

2009-02-28T20:38:00.000-06:00

I've been resisting ebooks for a long time. I like my physical paper and bound books. You can have my leather-bound volume of Don Quixote when you pry it from my dead fingers.

Then I became a writer.

Then I started to study the publishing world and trying to understand the seismic (there, I'm the eleventy millionth person to use that metaphor - and "eleventy" for that matter) changes happening there.

Ebooks are going to free authors from publishers.

Ebooks are going to free readers from publishers.

Not sure what traditional publishers are going to be doing 10 years from now. From what I can tell, they're either in massive denial and still think their current business model will be relevant ten years from now, or they're trying to come up with some way to "own" the ebook space and give the appearance of embracing the future when they're really still following the same dead formula.

I just read this article from Slate. I may have misunderstood the article, because I have a hard time believing that a professional technology writer could get it so wrong, but you are NOT limited to only buying from the Kindle store if you buy a Kindle (although their not-so-helpful user information would seem to suggest that's the only outlet available to you). Case in point, go to the support page on an ebook website for simple instructions for Kindle owners to read the bright new content being published, sometimes directly by the authors themselves.

Authors and their fans are taking matters into their own hands. The technology is here. And if you want to get access to reading material that is maybe too darkly humorous, too niche, too fan fiction, too personal or too whatever to be picked up for publishing by a conventional publisher who is forced by their costs and overhead to only pick up works with a broad appeal, then go get ye some kind of ebook reading device. And then go gorge yourself. There is some great writing out there.

And maybe publishers should work on finding out what's going to drive people to purchase a print book instead of an ebook. For me, I'll be buying print books that I feel have some sort of "heirloom" value - it's a classic that I want to be able to look up at and see resting on the library shelf, or an important reference, or it has a personal sentimental value, or the pictures and graphics are too good for ebook consumption - or it's a beloved book that isn't available as an ebook. Ebooks will also dramatically affect the aftermarket for used books in the same way iTunes/mp3's have for CDs, since people won't have so many print books on hand to need to sell again to make room for the next one.

The world of books is changing at lightning speed. And if it means my kids will carry a Kindle instead of a massive backpack full of books to and from school, how cool is that?

Now I've Done It

2009-02-26T12:44:00.000-06:00

Yep, I've gone and started book two of a series for which I have yet to sell book one. Heck, for which I have even to get representation for book one. I just couldn't hold off any more. The story is there. The characters are there. It's the end of the month and clients aren't calling, already worried about how much they've spent in fees this month. There were other things I could have done today, but I'm writing. I could be writing a business plan or the site map or ordering my MIL's birthday cake. But I'm writing.

I wish I could tell you what the second story's about. I wish I could talk with someone about it. It's like going to a movie that you really enjoyed and then finding out you're not allowed to discuss it with anyone. Somewhere I read that if you're doing a series, you have have have to keep the plotline and driving conflict for the subsequent books under wraps. I guess this makes sense. Arggh.

It feels good to be writing new material again, though. It feels especially good to return to this particular story, to allow it to proceed again. The rewrite process on the first book helped me understand what the story was about. Now I feel like I have a better foundation for this story, but I also know that I do not, at this point, understand the full significance of what's going to happen to the characters this time. I have a very general sense of what they will be faced with and how it will happen, but the meaning, that deeper level where the story starts to resonate with universal human themes, won't emerge to me (or I won't figure it out - duh) until much later. For now, it's just write what flows and then go back and go back and go back. And then, eventually, "Aaaah. I get it."

Longing to Write

2009-02-03T22:29:00.000-06:00

I can't get the next book out of my head. Or other future books I'd like to write some day. Thoughts, strings of words that I can see on the page, pass through my mind while I'm changing Ada's diaper, doing the dishes, filling in timeslips for January billing. I want to stop doing whatever it is that I'm doing and run to my computer and write. I don't want to make dinner. I don't want to sit on a conference call. I don't want to feed the animals and fold laundry. I want to write. It doesn't matter to me whether it's good or not yet - I'm missing the creative process, the feeling of building something, and then starting to see what it is emerge, cutting away what was wrong or untrue. Writing is like sculpting. The story already exists, perfectly told, tantalizing and enthralling, out there in the ethers. I tease out a thread of it. A character makes a surprising decision. Ah, I see now. I didn't realize that about you. I write on. Someone new shows up. I don't know why yet, but I explore them with my words. I shut out everything else. The characters keep trying to tell me their story when I finally go to bed at night. I get up again and write down notes, then beg them to leave me alone for just a few hours. I watch them behind my eyes, showing me their scenes and who they are. When I get stuck, I get up and make tea, water the garden, weed. When I sit down again I make myself write through it. I probably don't have it right yet, but I discover where I'm supposed to go next, and then while I'm driving to pick up the kids it occurs to me how to get there. I give hugs and kisses and admonish for running ahead of me, make dinner, change diapers, do bathtime, two bedtime sets of songs and cuddles, and then back to the computer and write until my eyes hurt.

I'm uncertain about my future as a writer, until I get an agent and start to figure out a direction. So I'm not writing more just yet. Maybe a little more polishing on the manuscript, because there's always more polishing to do, but that's all. If I can't get an agent with this book, then who am I to keep doing this?

Indeed.

Awkward Timing ... And Now a Breather

2009-01-27T21:11:00.000-06:00

Well.

I sent out a wave of queries in November, and promptly got doused by a wave of rejections and one request for a full. Which ended in a rejection. So I went back to the manuscript. I read and I researched and I thought and considered. And I came up with a whole mess of deep, structural revisions that I needed to make to the story and to my writing, and started to psyche myself up for the effort.

And then, out of the blue, a goddess of an agent responded to my query (a month after I sent it, which is totally reasonable, but explains how I got into this pickle) with a request for a full.

Gaaahhhh!

Rule #1 in queries, don't send your query until your manuscript is ready. So, I had to *very delicately* communicate to her my desire to take just a little time on the manuscript without appearing off the bat like an unprofessional rube. Did I mention she's a goddess? She took it in stride, very graciously, and I worked my ASS OFF for 2.5 weeks and sent it to her. Fingers crossed.

In the meantime, it's nice to be able to start to feel like a human again. Agent Nathan Bransford asked in his blog what's the hardest thing about being a writer. I was amazed by how many responders said it was the writing, in some way or other, that was the hardest thing. I don't get that. For me, writing a story is bliss. Even revising it over and over is bliss, because by then, I'm coming to understand the story and the characters and why they matter and I feel like I'm toiling in service to something outside of myself, something greater than me, and I'm the lucky SOB who gets to discover it from the creative consciousness of the universe and get intimate with it and be used by it as a mouthpiece.

The hardest part is the guilt over how much it takes out of me to write, on top of my day job, and the hollowed-out leftovers of a wife and mom that my family has to put up with for those periods when I'm deep into it.

And if this story goes nowhere, I might be selfish enough to write another one anyway and try the whole thing all over again with a new and completely different book. I love writing that much. And I have a file of ideas that I've been tinkering with over the years just waiting for my attention.

Finished: PILLARS OF THE EARTH, by Ken Follett

2008-12-29T09:30:00.000-06:00

Wow. Just ... wow.

I really loved this book. And I enjoyed seeing how the author managed some of the same challenges I've had writing in this period - the lack of measurement for time and space as we are so accustomed to today, the sparse furnishings and lack of familiar occupations, the domination of the Church in all aspects of daily life.

Ken Follett's writing is very detail-driven: you really get a feel for the setting and the characters' moods and motivations. The plot is a collection of arcs in the lives of the characters, each of their stories rising and touching one another to form together a coherent, beautiful story whose structure mimics the cathedral that is really the primary character of the book. And although he gets into the minds of both his male and female characters, his perspective and "voice" are decidedly masculine - linear, relying on power struggles as the driving force, focusing on the world of men, in which the women still play a role, but only as side characters.

I've just begun THE MISTS OF AVALON by Marion Zimmer Bradley, and I'm already struck by the difference in voice. I'm only 50 pp in, but this is very clearly a story about women written by a woman. Bradley's prose also has more sense of place and time in it than Follett's. For the most part, Follett tells the story using modern language and phrasing. This was also my own approach; I was concerned that trying to modify the prose and the way the characters spoke to something that would be suggestive of ancient times would come across as contriving and distract with its awkward unfamiliarity. Somehow, though, Bradley uses words like "hearkened" and "foemen" with such fluidity that I feel I'm a visitor to another world that is complete and rich.

I'm realizing as I'm reading these books that I may have over-edited some of my writing. As I revised, I was so focused on eliminating redundancy and using correct grammar that I may have taken out some of what made the writing uniquely mine. I guess with experience, a writer gains the confidence to know when breaking the rules is necessary to the story, and when it's just bad writing.

I'm hoping to begin the re-write on GWENDOLYN'S SWORD this week. My day job is still pretty demanding, even through the holidays, but my head is racing with thoughts and lines and ideas so I'll need to start writing again soon. The prospect is both exciting and daunting - I'm a little worried about disappearing into the story again for months on end, and how hard it was to still manage the rest of my life and be present with the kids and Kirby. But write I must.

Inspiring Young Writers

2008-12-19T15:23:00.000-06:00

I picked up this story on Publisher's Marketplace's Automat and had to share.

A teacher in Provo started his own online publishing business focusing on schools and educators to allow schools to cheaply publish the works of their students.

What a great idea!

There are other online self-publishing businesses, but they were cost-prohibitive for schools, students and teachers to take advantage of. But with prices starting at $7.95/book, www.mightyauthors.com puts publishing easily in their reach. The students get really excited when a work of theirs shows up in the school library or on a classroom's bookshelf, and the kids are checking out each other's books. So exciting!

I'm close to 750pp into PILLARS OF THE EARTH now, and it's funny; even though there are 200+ pages yet to go, I can feel the tempo of the story shifting. The plot has had a steady, climbing arc, and even with enough yet to go that it could be a novel in itself, the various threads are coming to fruition and mysteries are resolving and things are starting to settle into place. Mary Gentle's ASH: A SECRET HISTORY literally arrived on my doorstep today from England, and at over 1,000 pages I've got lots more hand cramps ahead of me, but I can't wait to dive into it.

And my own writing? Still simmering. I've thought of other things that need to be corrected. I've had a ton of work show up in the last few weeks, which is a very good thing. I'm still planning how to approach such extensive revisions without accidentally deconstructing the whole book. I received another rejection yesterday from an agent. Just another confirmation that I really need to rework this manuscript. I'm thinking next month, if work will give me a break, I'll be able to get back into it again. Fingers crossed.

Now That's Humbling

2008-12-10T16:46:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite writers, who had said he was done, is apparently writing again. And he has written 4 (FOUR) versions of a novel and may be now working to pull together the best of each of them into one work. Jeez. I'm getting my panties in a wad over the major rewrite I have ahead of me, and this man has written FOUR VERSIONS of the same novel. I'm just humbled by the commitment to artistic integrity. What a man. What a writer.

According to The Guardian, a friend of Gabriel Garcia Marquez (author of ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE, CHRONICLE OF A DEATH FORETOLD, and LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA)has reported that the Nobel Prize winning author is working on a love story, but that he's become highly demanding and critical of himself.

I recall from the exhibit on Miro in Barcelona that Miro went through a similar crisis late in his life. One of his final works was simply a series of canvases with a single black line slashing across them. He was obsessed with the line. All of his artistic vision and focus had finally become so abstracted, so distilled, that he was now conveying everything through a single line. It was a very emotional and touching moment, looking at the canvases and listening to the art critic narrating my audiotour through my headphones describe how a master like Miro had gotten to the point that a single line was all he needed, and yet it was the most impossible thing in the world to do justice to. It was so hard for him to get right, and in the end, I'm not sure he was finally satisfied with how it turned out.

I love Marquez's writing. I'm thrilled that there may still be more work forthcoming from him.

Revisions, Rewrites and Redrafts

2008-12-09T11:30:00.000-06:00

After nearly 20 queries and only one request for a full (which ended in a polite rejection), I've decided I need to do some serious re-working to the manuscript. I looked into hiring an editor to help me, but for the developmental-level feedback I need (not just a proofreader), it gets pretty pricey. I have some ideas about things to re-work - certainly the opening, give the main baddie more depth, clarify the heroine's motivations and eliminate an awkward prop for something more meaningful. So I'll forge ahead on my own.

It's hard to gauge on your own how good/bad your writing is. And judging only from the polite form rejections, you know something is awry, but it's impossible to put your finger on exactly what that might be. Certainly some portion of the rejects could relate to some arbitrary factor completely unrelated to the quality of the manuscript - I used the word "review" instead of "consider" when thanking an agent for having a look at my sample dutifully pasted into the query as instructed, for example. Not all agents are knee-jerk like that, but some admit to such habits. Which apparently must be working for them, so that's fine. I've had plenty of friend readers, but they are reluctant to criticize, which is understandable although I'd certainly appreciate the feedback.

I've got three months until the deadline for the Writers League of Texas' manuscript contest. Surely I can get a lot of work done by then, considering it only took 9 weeks to write the original work. I'm daunted by the possibility of failure with this book, and by the amount of work still ahead of me. But I love the characters and their story. I have to keep trying.

RIF Takes On a New Meaning for Publishers

2008-12-03T12:21:00.000-06:00

Remember when RIF stood for "Reading Is FUNdamental"?

As a tech sector refugee, I'm much more familiar with the other, pinker meaning for RIF: Reduction In Force.

Having only recently turned my attention to publishing, I'm not sure how inured the industry is to these cycles. When you work in software and chips (even as a lawyer), you get used to the RIF cycles. Hopefully you get at least a few weeks' severance out of it, and if you can manage to pick up another job quickly, then hey - BONUS. All's well that ends well. On the other hand, if you get no severance and it's a few months before you get your next job, then start working on your positive attitude now because you'll need it for the long haul.

So, all hell's breaking loose at the major houses right now. Not that the holidays aren't stressful enough on their own. Having had plenty of experience on both sides of the table with RIF's, I thought I'd share some wisdom if you find yourself sitting down for one of these painful meetings.

RIF-er:

1. Don't try to be a friend.

Allow the person who's getting the bad news their anger. After all, when the meetings over, they're going to go put their stuff in a box and try to figure out how to pay for COBRA insurance for their kids. You'll go back to your desk and your job. No matter how compassionate, empathizing and caring you try to be, you will still be The Asshole On The Other Side Of The Table. Accept the situation for what it is, and don't try to rob the poor RIF-ee of their right to hate you for the next 20 minutes. At least allow them that much.

2. Have a neutral third party in the room with you.

Here's the lawyer in me coming out: have a witness, but not someone who would be provocative in the sense of making the RIF-ee feel ganged up on. People tend to behave better when there's someone else in the room, plus it will help with any he-said-she-said arguments that may come up later.

3. Be prepared and organized.

Have all your exit paperwork ready and at hand. Have packing supplies ready. Have security available on call, even if you don't think you'll need them. Be ready to answer all questions.

4. Never, ever RIF anyone over the phone, email, twitter, or any other method than a face-to-face meeting.

Don't be a weasel. RIF's suck more for the RIF-ee than the RIF-er. Suck it up and at least have the courage to allow the RIF-er the dignity of a personal meeting.

RIF-ee:

1. Get the hell outta Dodge.

Seriously. Get your stuff and go. Quickly. Hanging around will only make you bitter. Trust me on this.

2. Don't burn bridges.

Keep your snarky comments to yourself. Don't take anything with you that isn't yours. Be a consummate professional about it. RIFs happen all the time. It's nothing personal, and if you take it personally, you're only digging a deeper hole for yourself to have to climb out of again when it's time to go get the next job. Something about RIF's: they tend to spawn new ventures, new opportunities, new companies. You want to be thought of well when those new things are coming together and someone like you could fill a spot in it. Keep your contacts up, start making coffee and lunch and drinks dates with everyone in your network. Remember birthdays and anniversaries.

3. Get ready for the long haul of positive thinking.

Finding a job in a down economy is hard. Keeping your energy and enthusiasm up after a string of dead ends and rejections is hard. Whatever you have to do to prepare yourself for that, do it. Go for more walks. Get more sleep. Eat healthier. Set aside some of your free time for pleasure reading, crosswords, drives in the country - whatever it is that recharges you. Be kind to yourself and your body. You need all the resources and support you can draw from. Now is a good time to re-think self-destructive habits and toxic relationships. Maybe it's time for a complete change of career. Clear your head and get yourself to a good place so you can make that decision based on rational deliberation.

4. Figure out what you want, but don't put people on the spot.

Something I learned during my own series of layoffs was that people wanted to help me - I didn't need to ask them for help. Asking people directly if they knew of any jobs or job leads put them on the spot and in the uncomfortable position of having to tell me they couldn't help me - it was a real downer for both of us. I realized that when I met with someone over coffee or lunch, if I could tell them with enthusiasm what I was looking for, what I was interested in, who I was talking to, what my plans were, they would naturally get swept up by the possibilities and suggest leads and other contacts without my asking. Really, try it. People are drawn to a can-do attitude and want to be a part of your success.

50 Hottest Women Sword Fighters

2008-12-02T12:23:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'll be honest: personally, for my gawking moments, I'd rather stare at the 50 hottest men sword fighters (Gerard Butler, Mel Gibson, Russell Crowe, Clive Owen, Jet Li, Johnny Depp, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen ...). But I couldn't help but bring attention to this fabulous listing of sword-fighting heroines from tv and movies. Some were surprising (Kim Cattrall? You GO girl!) and others may have been badly under-rated (Sandahl Bergman, I thought, was a revelation of feminine machismo in Conan). But it's a great reminder of our long-term fascination with the idea of sword-wielding women.

http://www.onlyknives.com/the-50-hottest-women-sword-fighters/2/

What I'm Reading - Medieval Fiction and Chicks with Swords

2008-12-01T08:49:00.001-06:00

But apparently never the two shall meet. I've had a bear of a time finding examples of stories of women swordfighters set in the middle ages. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard. Here's a shout out to Mary Gentle for writing ASH: A SECRET HISTORY, a blend of historical fiction and fantasy set in 15th c. Europe that features - ta da! - Ash, a sword-fighting heroine. I can't wait to get my hands on it (hopefully I can find the UK version that's all one book instead of having to hunt down the 4 paperbacks here in the US) after I finish everything else I have in front of me right now.

Here's today's list:

THE PILLARS OF THE EARTH, by Ken Follett
GRACELING, by Kristin Cashore
THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL, by Philippa Gregory
OUTLANDER, by Diana Gabaldon
SWORD OF EIBHLIN, by Jack Sorenson

I'll post mini-reviews for each as I finish them.

Between work and the kids, I get about 2 hours a day to read. Not great. But I'm trying to readjust back to a normal sleep schedule in preparation for another long haul of regular nights up until 12 or 1 (and then up at 6 or worse with Ada) if the manuscript gets any attention. I'm also taking a little break from the querying right now. I've found about half a dozen more agents that I want to query, but I need to focus on billable work again. Also, I'm hitting about the 3-week mark for my first wave of queries, so I'm hoping to get a few more responses this week and the next.

If anyone has any suggestions for books about sword-fighting heroines from the middle ages (not pure fantasy worlds), I'd love to hear about them.

This May or May Not Cheer You Up

2008-11-26T09:02:00.001-06:00

I subscribe to Publisher's Marketplace, and if you're a writer, I'd highly recommend ponying up the very reasonable $20/mo. to get access to their daily deals information. Every day I get a list of who sold what, and I can't think of a better way to find My Ideal Agent other than finding the one who's selling books like what I've written. It also helps me keep an eye on the marketplace re what's selling in YA right now. Indispensable information.

So, what's cheery about this otherwise dry data is that the sales of books to publishers are continuing. After the dreary news from HMH earlier this week that all book acquisitions are on hold for now (seriously? Isn't that like McDonald's saying they aren't going to buy any more potatoes?), I'm encouraged by this daily reminder in my inbox that there are agents out there wheeling and dealing, getting the job done, selling books. Thank god for y'all.

Here's the other cheery news. A young, talented writer who has a faithful agent who wouldn't give up on her or her debut novel has sold her book - after two years of effort. The backstory is inspiring. She looks pretty precious on her blog, which I can say because I'm older than her, and her writing is that sort of liquid, dream-like, right-brain-swimming goodness that makes me want to pick up Carl Jung and contemplate the wonders of consciousness. I look forward to her book coming out. Congratulations!

So, this may or may not cheer you, depending on whether you're the sort of person who gains inspiration from others' successes, or who shrinks from them wondering why it wasn't you. If you're the latter, then good luck to you. Life is hard enough as it is, kiddo.

Why I Wrote This Book

2008-11-25T19:09:00.000-06:00

We moved to a larger house in April of 2007, when I was pregnant with our second child. We needed more space, and even though Kirby had been high on painkillers for a kidney stone when we saw the house, because I loved it so much he agreed to make an offer, and we were under contract within 24 hours.

The bulk of the packing fell to me, as the person with the part-time, free-lance job. I was packing Kirby's books - obscure, paperback tomes from college that I had never paid much attention to - when I came across a volume of literary criticism of erotic literature. There was an entire chapter dealt to "The Rape Fantasy."

The whuh-huh-who?

Are you effing serious?

I opened the book, began to read, and proceeded to get really, really pissed. Rather than just discussing the presence of something called a "rape fantasy" which, rightly or wrongly, shows up in a lot of erotic literature, the author began the analysis with the assumption that women, in general, although they won't admit it, harbor such fantasies.

So, being the sort of person I am, I thought I'd hunt the author down and hang him by his short hairs until he agreed to publicly recant and apologize for spreading such ridiculous nonsense.

Kidding!

Let me try that again. Being the sort of person I am, I thought I'd write about it. I decided I'd write the anti-rape fantasy. A fantasy about extraordinary desire, slowly, gently, tenderly expressed in a mostly chaste relationship.

Have you ever wanted someone so much your mouth waters and you walk into furniture, only to find out that they hyperventilate every time you flip your hair that way, but for reasons external to the attraction you've had to keep it in check? It's HOT.

I also had a fantasy about a sword-fighting heroine. I love the stories of King Arthur, the movie Gladiator, and tough-skinned, macho tales of strength and honor that make you all proud and warm inside. Problem was, all of the tales were about male protagonists. Sure there were a few female side-characters here and there, but the leads were all men.

Then along came Buffy. THANK YOU, JOSS WHEDON.

After that, Battlestar Gallactica. Yummy. Strong, tough, unapologetic and uncompromising warrior women who kicked ass, over and over again.

So I put these two themes together, and I got GWENDOLYN'S SWORD. It may go nowhere. It may be that no one wants to represent a YA novel about a sword-fighting heroine from twelfth century England. If that's the case, then I'll write something more marketable and try to get this one published after I'm a creditable "author". I love the characters, there are at least 2 or 3 sequels possible based on the threads laid in the first book, and I'm not willing to give up on them or their story. When I was a teenager, I would have loved to have had a story like this out there for me to read, to know that it was okay to be bigger and stronger than most of the girls (and a lot of the guys), to know that it was okay to be a girl and still speak loudly and clearly, to know that being smart and assertive and a no-bullshit fighter was sexy.

So far, I've queried 17 agents. I've gotten 5 rejections, 2 referrals to other agents, and one request for a full. The waiting is ... difficult, but unavoidable. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I'm outlining plot and characters for the next book (legal thriller) while continuing to revise Gwendolyn's Sword in anticipation of submitting it to the Texas Writers League manuscript contest this spring. I may not win, but the feedback will be invaluable.

Happy November, and keep writing.

Really? What's It About?

2008-11-25T17:19:00.000-06:00

Think Buffy meets Excalibur.

Here's a very brief blurb; the book is 111,000 words:

In twelfth century England, while King Richard is absent from the throne, a heroine emerges who will risk everything to protect the land and the people she loves from a confederation of war-mongering nobles. Nineteen-year-old Baroness Gwendolyn de Cardinham learned from her husband how to fight with the broadsword before he left her in charge of the manor to join the crusades. In the autumn of 1192, she embarks with William, a knight from a humble family who rose to serve as head guard, on an errand to locate her parents' tomb. They discover instead that her sword, passed on to her by her grandfather, is in fact the legendary Excalibur. She alone is heir to an ancient legacy to protect the future of England at a time when the middle class of merchants and skilled craftsmen was first emerging. But her sword is not whole; a fragment of the hilt was buried with her parents and she must retrieve it before she and her sword are captured or killed.

Sound good? Want to read it? Tell an agent for me!

So I Wrote This Book ...

2008-11-24T13:34:00.000-06:00

And it took me 9 weeks to get the first draft done. So far I'm a month into revisions. I'd never written a book before, but this just took a hold of me. Climbed on my back and wrapped it's arms around my neck and wouldn't let go until I had the story completed. Even now it still gets me out of bed after midnight to go fix that one line.

Now I'm working hard at finding an agent and getting published. Because I want to keep writing. It's like a drug. Going into my head and disappearing inside there where forty years' worth of daydreams and an overly active imagination have stored up stacks and stacks of characters and stories and places and times that are screaming to be told.

It's not that I don't like my day job - I do. And I'm good at it. But if I could get someone to pay me to write? That would be heaven on earth.

So, welcome to the blog. Thank you for stopping by.